Thoughts

> A Grandiose Narcissist's Guide to Humanism > How can I be better than everyone in the room without hurting anyone? Because hurting anyone closes doors and I crave freedom. > I need to find the people who don't **** me off, and I need to be special. What is special? What is rare? How do I twist myself into a shape humans can tolerate? > Oh, idea. I can accept them. I can tell them I think I know what's best for them and then allow them to tell me what it is anyway. > I can show them a kind of support and understanding that is very hard to find anywhere on earth because I know what it's like to have the howling void of insecurity inside me and I have the gift of narcissism making me feel like a brilliant star in the center of it, disintegrating anything, origin of creation, all and nothing and the magnificence of the universe. > I can take someone's hand when they reach out and lift them up in the manner they choose and assist them in thriving after trauma has punched out the ground beneath their feet. > I have no pretense of being a therapist but if I am going to be the best of something I will be the best friend and the best at choosing my friends and I will love rapaciously and unhesitantly anyone I can, since that list is very small. > And the difficulty I face in doing so will fuel that star as long as I keep letting it guide me because there is little more you can do to boost your own ego than humble a narc even if it's you > I am very good at playing this game called Empathize and Support and if I can't make my own humility then storebought is just going to have to do. > If I have to beat something, if I have to win at something, if I have be bigger and stronger than something in order to feel whole, then I will be bigger than loneliness and stronger than shame. > I will take them as they are and embrace them, and I will fly my flag beneath theirs because my humility is hard won and therefore worthy of praise, and therefore so am I.