Thoughts
I need to do a much better job of telling other people when I'm uncomfortable.
When I'm alone, I'm good at figuring out that, for example, a song is annoying me, and skipping it. Or it's too hot, or I'm bored, or nervous about something. And when I'm with other people I exert a lot of pressure on myself to conform, I guess, or endure, or something.
For example, if I'm traveling with a group of people, and I'm nervous that we're lost, I should tell them that and check the map and deal with the problem. And instead, I tend to follow the social cues—no one else is nervous so I shouldn't be nervous. Which means that I'm just uncomfortable.
And I further hypothesize that this creates a meta-feedback-loop. Where I tell myself that I'm uncomfortable *because* I'm bad at "matching" what the rest of the group is feeling. I tell myself I just need to be more like these other people who aren't nervous, and I need to be less nervous, and then I'll be more comfortable and enjoy socializing. When instead I should do what I would do if I was alone and deal with the thing making me nervous.
The obvious problem with that is that the things that make me uncomfortable are very different from the things that make other people uncomfortable. And so there's a chance of annoying the other people if I'm pestering them to double-check the map. But I'm kind of okay with that because it reframes the problem to be an issue of preference. I prefer the music to be quieter. That doesn't mean that I'm "bad at" going to parties with loud music. In the same way, I'm not "bad at" traveling with people who don't want to stare at the map. But instead of coping with it, you should ask to turn the music down or get ear plugs or ask to see the map.
Maybe skill in socializing is more about creating an environment where you are both comfortable socializing, then it is about forcing yourself to be comfortable in a social environment where you are not.
This also applies to like conversation topics. Instead of sitting and waiting for a conversation topic you care about to come up, try to bring it up. "Anyone here play minecraft?" If they don't want to talk about minecraft, that doesn't reflect poorly on you, it reflects poorly on both of your's compatibility.