Thoughts
It would be easy for me to remember fall 2020-spring 2021 as a happy time in my life because I have a number of key happy moments from that
time—unicycling, hanging out with my roommates, walking to the bookstore. But in general it wasn't a time that I was very happy. I wasn't going to church, I wasn't following any sort of schedule, I wasn't getting stuff done, so I was stressed and bored simultaneously. My head was full of bees. I wish I had stronger memories of the time (I don't because again I wasn't doing much), but I do have the About page, which I wrote during that time, and I haven't really been in that mindset since then.
Recently I've just been bored. There are some awful activities like being on Reddit or Youtube or Twitch which don't take energy but also don't let you rest, and that's how I felt for much of 2020-2021, and that's how I've felt for much of 2024. The difference is now I'm getting done the stuff that I need to get done, so there's less background stress in some areas, but there's as much background stress in other areas.