Thoughts
[cw: this post is aimed at a transphobic strawman. For rhetorical reasons I concede that a trans person may not be their
real gender, even though I believe that a trans man is a man.]
In 2005 or 2015 or if you maybe didn't know anything about trans people you could plausibly argue that trans people should just stop being trans. This is the argument that transphobic people made: "I don't have anything against you, you I don't want you to leave the community, I just want you to not be trans." But over the last 20 years, trans people have communicated (at least to me and to the spaces that I exist in) that they will not be convinced that being trans is bad. That's not an argument that it's possible to win. It's not even on the table. There's no world where the trans person is going to say "oops, I made a mistake, I'm not trans." And here's the thing. In 2025, the vocal transphobic people know that. Even in 2015, before I knew it (because I had a very ignorant view of trans people), I think the transphobic people knew it—there's a very old clip where Ben Shapiro argues that trans people are mentally ill. So whether someone is a man or a woman is a moot point. (I'm using "moot" correctly here, meaning, a point that is irrelevant because there will never be universal agreement.) What's actually on the table is how to treat trans people. Should they be allowed in communities, should they be mocked and abused, should they be allowed to use the restroom of their choice. I've always kind of understood that telling a trans person they're "not a real [woman]" is mean and it's bullying. That follows pretty quickly from the idea that you're not going to be able to change their mind. But moreover, the point of this post, is that saying that is a dogwhistle for the actual issues. For how you think trans people should be treated. Again, maybe there's an ignorant, dumb transphobe who is just bullying to bully. That's actually probably a majority of transphobic comments. But the vocal, persistent, transphobic people, have to have a reason for bullying (and it's not because they think they're going to not be trans anymore). They're bullying because they think that trans people deserve it. Because they think that trans people shouldn't be in the community. I can kind of tolerate the idea that someone thinks that a trans person isn't their gender, but to think that they deserve abuse or deserve to be kicked out of the community is just sickening.
I'm not positive I agree with this post. It makes sense to me, but it argues technicalities along very broad lines in a way that is not rigorous.